Sunday, January 27, 2008

to risk or not to risk?

If you don't already know, I'm a good student. I don't say this to brag, it's just a fact. I like school- it just fits me. It's also always come pretty easy to me. I made great grades in college and, in retrospect, although I worked to get the grades I did, I probably wasn't challenged all that much. School's always come pretty easy to me.

I started grad school (again! third time's the charm, right???) this past week. I found a great, affordable program in Gifted Education through Hardin Simmons. It just fit with everything I wanted and, because it relates to my current teaching position, it will be almost completely paid for by my school district. (That's always exciting!) It's kind of a strange program- you meet a total of five times throughout the semester. It starts at 4:30 on Friday and runs till 8:30 that night. The next morning, we're back at 8:30 and in class until 12:30. I'm taking two classes, though, so it works out to be about two to three times a month until the end of April.

So, I had my first class last weekend and was feeling fine. It's just one of those classes that I know I will excel at. No worries.

This weekend, I attended the other class I am taking. This one is a completely different story. This class will probably be one of the most challenging courses I have ever taken in my life. It scared the crap out of me. It made me realize just how much of my life I have played safe. Don't get me wrong- I don't have regrets. I'm happy with the choices I've made in my life, even if they were stupid. Every choice makes up who I am, and I'm okay with that.

But, dang, if a hard class puts me in tailspin, I need to take some more risks! :)

So, my goal for the next few months is to try my best to get over my fear of failure and take some risks. Whether it be in love, friendships, school, or life in general, that's my goal. I have to get over myself and move on- I have no regrets now, and I'd like it to stay that way for the future!