Tuesday, August 19, 2008

georgia on my mind...

So, our long awaited vacation arrived... for the past four years, a group of girlfriends from college and I have discussed having a yearly reunion to continue to foster our friendships. We knew it was important to get started before all of us got married and started having babies, or else we might never do this.

So, we all checked our schedules and had some trouble finding dates before finally settling on mid August. From the get-go, I was worried, because half of the trip conflicted with my inservice. I was going, I wasn't going up until the very last minute. But, this past Thursday, I finally got it together, and Friday I was on my way for my forty hours of fun! :)

I could tell you all the things we did, the yummy food we ate, but, ultimately, none of that matters. What mattered this weekend was simply being together. From the moment I saw these girls, the time spent apart disintegrated. It was as if no time had passed and we just picked up right where we left off. Yes, our circumstances and lives had changed, but, at our cores, we were still the same old girls.

We still piled on the couch like puppy dogs, we still giggled at the same old memories. We still got too competitive when playing simple games, we still took stupid pictures of ourselves. And most importantly, we still have the same character that drew us together all these years ago.

  • Pam still has the heart of worship and passion for Christ that she's always had. Her heart inspires me and continues to drive me forward, as well.
  • Amanda still has the heart for people- for community and making people feel loved and accepted and helping them see God. Amanda reminds me of how important it is to encourage each other- she's always been a huge encouragement to me.
  • Emily still has the heart of quiet servitude- of providing for the people she loves through cooking, helping, "doing the dirty work". She shows God's love through action, and her actions speak for her so loud that words aren't neccessary.
Before I left, there were promises to continue this yearly. I can't imagine not- this was one of the greatest gifts I gave myself this year- a chance to get away from it all, a chance to see people I rarely spend time with anymore, and a chance to remember just how sweet community can be.

Monday, August 11, 2008

this is my confession...

I love the Olympics. Probably more than that, growing up it was an absolute obsession. The whole family participates in this obsession, but my mom and I are the worst.

One year, our family went on vacation to Tennessee and planned our day excursions so that we could be home in time to watch the olympics. Sad, I know.

So, the olympics began on Friday. I was at a wedding in waco. Saturday I had inservice and a friend's graduation. Sunday I had church and two different parties. What's a girl to do!?!
Thank God for TIVO!

I now tivo all the olympics (which, mind you, is close to 14 hours of coverage a day!!!) and have become a pro at watching nine hours of coverage in one hour! :) How is that possible, you ask? Well, let me tell you. First off, you should know that my favorite sports are swimming, diving, and gymnastics for the summer games. I like the others, but those are my faves.

Cycling is way more fun at 15x speed!
So is basketball, water polo, and volleyball.
Sometimes if 15x isn't enough, I bump it up to 30x or 60x. So, I see enough to know what's going on, but I don't really watch the whole game. I'll stop if it looks exciting, but other than that, I'm just monitoring and fast forwarding! (Ironically, outside of the Olympics, I *love* to watch basketball... during the Mavericks heyday, I frequently stayed up late watching my boys. There's just so many sports to watch, that this girl's gotta prioritize!)

Swimming is calculated- I watch that almost all the way through, except for the 400m ones. First I watch the setup (where they show who's in what lane), then I fast forward through the first six laps and watch the last two laps in real time. It's quite fun.

Wednesday, August 6, 2008

Guilt

Are you a guilty-type person? I think I've figured out I probably feel guilty about 20 or 30 times a day.

I feel guilty when...
  • I realize I'm two days behind on my devos
  • I use a plastic bag
  • I throw away a plastic bag because it's broken (now i recycle those, too!)
  • I complain about being broke when I'm making almost double what I made a year ago
  • I leave my cat to go housesit
  • I don't go to the gym even though I'm paying for it
  • I drive my SUV to the store to buy one item on the list that I forgot (I should be organizing my shopping trips to conserve gas and energy- that's the environmentally friendly way, you know!)
  • I'm late to church... or a dinner... or whatever I'm late to.
  • I fall behind on grading... or planning... or anything related to my students'
just to name a few...

I know guilt can be both good and bad. It makes you aware of the ways you fall short, but I also know that this constant berating of myself isn't healthy. Can any of you perfectionists relate to this???

People always say that you don't know guilt until you're a mother. I'm not yet and I still seem to fight guilt at every turn! I must be doomed...

~hh

p.s. I'm actually not in a bad state right now. I'm pretty pleased with my life. It's just as I've been working on letting go of the perfect and working towards the acceptance of myself- faults and all, I've also become aware of the large amount of guilt I pile on myself!