I feel guilty when...
- I realize I'm two days behind on my devos
- I use a plastic bag
- I throw away a plastic bag because it's broken (now i recycle those, too!)
- I complain about being broke when I'm making almost double what I made a year ago
- I leave my cat to go housesit
- I don't go to the gym even though I'm paying for it
- I drive my SUV to the store to buy one item on the list that I forgot (I should be organizing my shopping trips to conserve gas and energy- that's the environmentally friendly way, you know!)
- I'm late to church... or a dinner... or whatever I'm late to.
- I fall behind on grading... or planning... or anything related to my students'
I know guilt can be both good and bad. It makes you aware of the ways you fall short, but I also know that this constant berating of myself isn't healthy. Can any of you perfectionists relate to this???
People always say that you don't know guilt until you're a mother. I'm not yet and I still seem to fight guilt at every turn! I must be doomed...
~hh
p.s. I'm actually not in a bad state right now. I'm pretty pleased with my life. It's just as I've been working on letting go of the perfect and working towards the acceptance of myself- faults and all, I've also become aware of the large amount of guilt I pile on myself!
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1 comment:
I have a variation of guiltitis; I find myself feeling absolutely rotten whenever I let someone down. Those exact words "you let me down" really hit hard.
I have found it to be a particular problem in the work place; as I more often than not will attract the sort of folks that love to pawn off their work on to "can't say no" people like myself.
On a side note - if you want to be "extra green" when grocery shopping, just offer to swing by and pick a friend up that needs groceries too. You 'double' the mileage by adding the extra person (and keeping less car off the street); and the added bonus of spending time with a friend!
Also if you bring your own reusable bags you won't have to feel guilty about disposable bags :P
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