Friday, January 16, 2009

I cried today. It caught me by surprise. I came across this photo...

This is at my brother's house a year ago in January 08. Chris (with lots of help from my other bro Brad and Chris's then fiance Liz) decorated it with my grandparents' bar and assorted bar paraphenalia that that they had in their party room. They named it "Harry's bar" and brought Granddaddy over to see his bar with the next generation. They rushed the project because they wanted it done in time for him to see it. He was diagnosed with an inoperable brain tumor in fall of 07 and was failing rapidly.

May 10, 2008 he left our world and joined his Father in heaven.

I mourned his death, of course, but I also knew he was ready to go. He loved his family more than life itself, but he knew where he was going and that he would see all of us again. I knew that, too. So, though I missed him, I was okay.

And, then I came upon the pictures from my brother's blog. I clicked on the slide show and settled in for a trip down memory lane. It wasn't the first time that I've seen pics of him or anything- they're all around our houses. What got me was the thought that he never got to see my new house. And, then I lost it.

I don't think it's even that he didn't get to see the house as much as, in one split second, I realized all the things he wouldn't be there for... to be at my wedding, to see my children. He wouldn't be there to giggle at our Christmas shenanigans or our next huge family gathering.

I just really missed him all of a sudden. But, more than that, I missed what he wouldn't be able to be a part of in the future.

I miss you, Granddaddy. Until we meet again.

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